::: — Just You Happy — :::

My friendster already delete, i no more website can play now. The only one i play is blogspot now. I was very very boring no more friendster. No more comment see no more upload new pic. But...i still can log in Shin profile looking around. He have giving me his pass last time untill now, cause is for helping him edit pic or edit friendster backgroup.

Anyway, i just finish cry again. I keep thinking negative abour Jia Li and Shin. I know Shin wont love her, and i know she wont love him also. Cause Jia Li have one so lovely bf. As i know she damn love him like i love Shin also. But i also still cant accept he holding and laying v Shin.

For them i know they just friend so normal. But i cant accept why Shin can holding others girl, hug then or let them touch him or he touch them. But for me why not? I dont understand at all. Is it he know i love him so he keep away ? He scared i mistake or what ? How come? I know he dont love me anymore, but at least hug me also can? Just friend hug, pls...

If he really think he dont wan hug me is the most good then he was wrong !!! This will be hurt me more only !!! Did he know that ? I know he sure. But he also do that. Last night he tell me he feel boring , wan find gf for bully. But dont know find who. Then i ask him how about bonnie? kinkis? gigi? or else? He say else gua. But he also have say the most more changes is bonnie. And say he wan watch movie "The Game Plan", he told me no one go watch v him. Then i say i promise help him find people go watch v him. I know i cant touch him anymore when today he tell me we not a couple so he dont wan hug me.

But when i help him find ppl go watch movie he say dont wan, cause i find that one is guy, he wan go out v girl. After that he say never mind, maybe he will go watch v bonnie. Last time he first time asking bonnie out is hold hand whole day. How about this time he go watch movie v bonnie? I remember when i first time watch movie v him is 30 sept 2007. Also my first kiss giving to him that day. I really cant image again when he go out v bonnie . I cant think again. Cause i think more and more negative now.

Beside my life not much now. My whole family also have serious sick, if we dont take care ourself we anytime also will suddenly go. I really wish i can hug v him so tie, kiss him harder, and wan him fall in love v me one more time. Also last time, wish he will tell me again "I Love You". But i know this wont come anymore. Haiz...if one day i really suddenly fall down and cant wake up, i wish i never wake up 4ever. I wish i just like this and go v God. I think that place will make me more relax more better then earth.

God will you allowed me go v you ? I know you are the best God in this world. Wish i can fastly go to your side. But be4 i go can pls let him tell me "I Love You" true from he heart ? I really wish he will love me again.

No matter you are Shin or Elson. Both i also love. Forever be in my heart, i will forever loving you. Ever and ever. I promise and swear. I will pray for you all the time again and again. Still the same, just you happy , anything i also dont mind. Even i'm not the special and not the only one in your heart i also dont mind. Just you happy, what you wan me to be i all also dont mind. I promise. And i promise i will support you all the time.

Tell the true, you wearing punk in pic really look cool and nice, but in real life, i dont think so. Opss, i'm sorry i never tell you the true. And i know u no see this blog, but, i wish you happy only. Just you feel when you wearing like this is cool and happy then is ok. Sorry i wan leaving friendster without telling you, sorry i wan leaving your life without telling you. Sorry i wish i wont hear and know about your thing anymore. That why i leaving you.

But i still will pray for you. God, i know you will listen my voice all the time. Pls help me take care and protect Shu Chee Yan all the time, and i promise be4 also, take my happiness all to him. Just he happy i dont mind anymore. And pls help me protect my family also. I Love You So Much Jesus.