--- ::: ` Happen coming ` ::: ---

Well, this few day Elson have phone me, but today whole day dont have, i wan phone him or sms him ask what he doing . But i cant, i keep telling myseld whole day, i'm not he gf, he not love me, dont fall in love v him, pls give him up.

Yesterday night i have phone v him, he say him self so handsome cause he changes he hair style, but honest, he really is handsome. I wish to see him, but i cant. On last sunday he go out v Bonnie, his net friend, is a beautiful girl. He keep holding her hand walk whole day , i was jealous, but i never let him know, my heart so pain, but i quiet also. Maybe is normal to know this news. So last night i ask him dont kiss that girl, i not allowed, he ask me dont lao gai, if not he will ask the girl come out and kiss her, my heart damn pain, i cry, but i tell him i'm sleepy so need sleep. Then he scold me then off phone.

Untill today he never find me, i wan sms or phone him but i control myself. Is normal i always control myself. But one thing i'm sure is when i saw him i sure cant control. Sure will hug him kiss him. Did he angry me now ? What he doing ? Kissing that girl ? Meet more net friend? Have gf ? He have tell me this year he wont have real gf. And i have make joke v him did he still love me ? He say no, my heart get hurt again, but i tell him that great. How much brave i have ?

Haiz...beside, i'm still ah boy gf. How to tell ah boy all of this thing ? Ah boy cold to me again, he no find me, no sms me, but when i sms him he have so long just reply. I dont know what happen again. But...i really dont wan be he gf. I feel so hard , and i cant study also. I keep thinking how i do just no hurt him. But now i really hurt him alot. I lie him, i never tell him alot thing, but i tell Elson. And Elson ask me tell ah boy now, but how ? He look like so sad few day. How can i tell him ? I dont wish to hurt him. But Elson say if i wait longer time just tell him more hurt him. And Elson say he help also, but at the end he dont wan help also. Cause me , Elson and ah boy relationship really confuse.

Now i just wan study, but i cant study also. I keep thinking about Elson in school. And also keep thinking my undang, i untill now also haven go test undang. But i know i'm fail also, i dont even know at all. I wan chatt v ah boy like last time again so happy. But cant, he keep busy always. How ?

And my grandma, she keep changing now, cause she getting more old, she thought she will going to die soon, always think negative, then i always blame her XD because of her always think negative make my mum and aunt and me and my sis all also have this sick XD haha, even this is true but i just make joke v her. But really she keep thinking she will die soon. I'm so scared, cause i have friend he tell me he father always treat them so cold one, one day suddenly cook for them and buy alot thing for them, at night , then lay down on sofa and GONE.

I was very remember this story. And this story was last two day my friend tell me only. I dont know more my grandma will telling me this all. I wonder is god give this was my fate ? I wan thanks god alot, cause HE give me alot story in my life and now i can teach my younger sister to think also. I wan telling her really some ppl will suddenly go, wish she treat grandma better now. Cause she keep lcly v my grandma, make she hurt and cry. I dont know what can i do now. I know i'm not a good person also, always easy to get bad mood, but this few day i was trying myself to control it. I dont wan grandma sad anymore, wish god will bless her even my grandma dont believe god.

This few day really alot thing to happen, and i wish this will going past later and fastly. Cause i having SPM this year, i dont wish any happen also. And wish my undang will past on this saturday. God Bless Me, Believe God Forever. Love God Forever.